The response to me speaking for all Alaskans about Sarah Palin was strong. It included being busted by a "good friend" from Utah and a real-life-Alaskan, whom I've never met, for using the term "snowmobile" instead of "Snow Machine." I guess tomorrow I'll be driving my "AutoMachine" to work.
Here's a comment and a very helpful tool sent in to henrythefrog@gmail.com. You'll definitely need to make use of this!
After reading your blog this morning I realized one thing about Sarah Palin...I actually like her and she's got me excited about this election again (since, you know, my boy Mitt is out of the race now...cringe), but what is with her kids names?? Not like I think that the names that she gives her kids have any effect on what kind of leader she'll be (cause lets face it old John Mac won't really be around the whole time right?!...or will he?!) Anyhow, I started thinking, What if I were Sarah's Alaskan love child? What would she have named me?
And then I found this SARAH PALIN name generator:
http://politsk.blogspot.com/2008/09/sarah_13.html
I would've been named:
Fork Decoy Palin
Just sayin'.....thought you might get a kick out of it.
AB :)
So on Planet Palin here is my family:
Me: Flag Cobra Palin
Traci: Goalie Sanka Palin
Ethan: Rock Crane Palin
Braeden: Gripper Carom Palin
Sydney: Rot Pipeline Palin
Allison: Grill Igloo Palin
I'm certainly not one to make fun of how people name their kids, so I'm glad that website did it for me.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Today's Photo Quiz . . .
One of these is the pretty girl I was lucky enough to marry . . . Can you point her out?
Thursday, September 18, 2008
A New MMB and a Great Cause
Some of you are very familiar with the infamous "Mormon Mommy Bloggers (MMBs)." Well I stumbled across a new one that really made me laugh. And she's putting together a Blog Book for a great cause. So I wanted to give her and her cause some press here on HTF. Check out the site and buy the book when it's out!!
HTF Attempts to Speak For All Alaskans, Whether You Live in the Cold Part or the Really Cold Part
I've found myself having the same conversations over and over again lately, which is totally fine. People want to know why we're moving to Seattle and as the conversation goes on it comes up that my wife is from Alaska. Then comes the next obvious question, which was also sent into henrythefrog@gmail.com by an alert reader, who I will call "DW":
What do Alaskans think of Sarah Palin being McCain's VP?
I, of course, should probably steer clear of speaking for all Alaskans, particularly since I can't even speak intelligently for the one I'm married to (and also since the majority of Alaska's population are caribou who can't speak at all). However, that's not gonna stop the HTF from taking some wild guesses based on solid facts
that I may or may not have made up. So I did actually do a little research and stumbled across this blog post by a prolific blogger in Alaska who the Mrs. HTF actually knows. If you want a better answer to the question, that post is probably a decent place to start. It's well written and sincere.
My take is that Alaskans are probably awfully wary of all the attention and are probably getting tired of the jokes (several of which I'll be sure to make on my blog, including the one about needing to have a passport to get in). However, the suddenly most-famous-governor-on-the-planet enjoys the highest approval ratings in the country (something like 84%). So it would be interesting to see someone in the White House with approval ratings above the single digits. A friend of mine has a friend who lives in Wasilla, the suddenly-most-famous-town-you'd-never-heard-of where I've actually visited. The Wasillian (a word that I just made up) told him that Sarah is "the real deal" and that she's every bit the positive leader that the campaign is making her out to be. This guy actually knows her and her family, which I'm assuming means that they shoot moose from their snowmobiles together on weekends. So I guess I'm saying that I suppose Alaskans are pretty proud to have one of their own in that spotlight. However, I also get the sense that there are plenty of 'em who would just assume have their governor back. Can you name your current governor? What about the one before him/her? (pop quiz)
So I'm not sure that's a great answer, but the Mrs. HTF has become a fan, as have I. And I was thoroughly convinced when she was first announced that JohnnyMac had decided to throw the election. I'm now convinced (as I've said in previous posts) that it was a flat-out brilliant political move. Pragmatism makes you do some interesting things sometimes, perhaps that explains the whole idea of putting Halibut in your Moose Stew.
Thanks for the question, DW (and everyone else).
What do Alaskans think of Sarah Palin being McCain's VP?
I, of course, should probably steer clear of speaking for all Alaskans, particularly since I can't even speak intelligently for the one I'm married to (and also since the majority of Alaska's population are caribou who can't speak at all). However, that's not gonna stop the HTF from taking some wild guesses based on solid facts
that I may or may not have made up. So I did actually do a little research and stumbled across this blog post by a prolific blogger in Alaska who the Mrs. HTF actually knows. If you want a better answer to the question, that post is probably a decent place to start. It's well written and sincere.My take is that Alaskans are probably awfully wary of all the attention and are probably getting tired of the jokes (several of which I'll be sure to make on my blog, including the one about needing to have a passport to get in). However, the suddenly most-famous-governor-on-the-planet enjoys the highest approval ratings in the country (something like 84%). So it would be interesting to see someone in the White House with approval ratings above the single digits. A friend of mine has a friend who lives in Wasilla, the suddenly-most-famous-town-you'd-never-heard-of where I've actually visited. The Wasillian (a word that I just made up) told him that Sarah is "the real deal" and that she's every bit the positive leader that the campaign is making her out to be. This guy actually knows her and her family, which I'm assuming means that they shoot moose from their snowmobiles together on weekends. So I guess I'm saying that I suppose Alaskans are pretty proud to have one of their own in that spotlight. However, I also get the sense that there are plenty of 'em who would just assume have their governor back. Can you name your current governor? What about the one before him/her? (pop quiz)
So I'm not sure that's a great answer, but the Mrs. HTF has become a fan, as have I. And I was thoroughly convinced when she was first announced that JohnnyMac had decided to throw the election. I'm now convinced (as I've said in previous posts) that it was a flat-out brilliant political move. Pragmatism makes you do some interesting things sometimes, perhaps that explains the whole idea of putting Halibut in your Moose Stew.
Thanks for the question, DW (and everyone else).
Monday, September 15, 2008
Tropical Storm Traci and My Wrinked-Up Toes
I've blogged repeatedly about the athletic prowess of the Mrs. HTF. Well she had her latest jaw-dropping performance over the weekend. On Saturday morning Traci competed in her very first triathlon, well, . . . sorta. Let me explain. Like many of you we've been building arks here in KC for the last few days. The rain just seems to keep coming. On Saturday morning we ventured out to the park where the event was to take place hoping that the rain would hold off. Well, as far as a dry morning, . . . not so much. Traci arrived at like 5 AM for the 7:45 AM start. I followed closely behind after dropping off the troops at our saintly friend's home and arrived at 7:10. Thank goodness there was a red umbrella in the minivan because it poured the entire time we were there, unless you count the 30 seconds before we got in the car to go home later that morning.
To our chagrin (a word I need to use more often) the bicycle portion of the triathlon was canceled due to the rain. I suggested they bring in stationary bikes, but I guess that was too much effort. So we were left with a swim and a run. The whole scene was pretty funny, unless you were, you know, in it. Husbands, boyfriends, parents, and supportive toddlers were huddled under overwhelmed umbrellas pretending they were glad to be there cheering-on their ladies. When in fact we all wished that the triathlon, turned biathlon (without the guns), would become a NO-athlon. But those are some tough ladies. By tough, I mean that half of them could've tossed me 30 feet into the lake and the other half would've had no trouble beating my Honda in a 3 mile race. As the race went on I made very communicative eye contact with some other supportive husbands. Some of the messages sent with raised eye-brows and headnods were:
- Can you believe we're standing here in the pouring rain in 6 inches of mud watching people swim in a lake, on purpose, when we could be home watching College Game Day on ESPN?!
or
- I'm wetter than my wife, and she's swimming in a lake!
But we all made it. Traci was amazing, no shocker at all. Leading up to it I was not allowed to tell people that she was "training for a triathlon." So instead I pointed out that she was swimming, biking, and running multiple times a week on the odd chance that she'd need to do these three things back to back to back at some point in the future. She's strong at downplaying expectations. After the race she made us hang around waiting for the results to be posted. She also got in line to get a massage. This left me to stoically hold my red umbrella and pretend I was happy to not be on my couch, dry. It was at this point that I experienced a quite lonely moment - as a muscle guy with long flowing hair gave the Mrs. HTF a thorough massage and I wasn't about to make small talk with any of the other folks in the area, 104% of which were women being watched closely by husbands/boyfriends, who like me, were unsure of how to function normally surrounded by that much estrogen. By my count the massage lasted just under two weeks and they finally had the awards ceremony. Traci took FIFTH PLACE in her age bracket (out of 42 women) and EIGHTEENTH overall (out of 253 women). So I continue to be in awe of this mother of four. I just hope next time I get to root her on in a tropical storm I get to watch from the comfort of my dry ark.
To our chagrin (a word I need to use more often) the bicycle portion of the triathlon was canceled due to the rain. I suggested they bring in stationary bikes, but I guess that was too much effort. So we were left with a swim and a run. The whole scene was pretty funny, unless you were, you know, in it. Husbands, boyfriends, parents, and supportive toddlers were huddled under overwhelmed umbrellas pretending they were glad to be there cheering-on their ladies. When in fact we all wished that the triathlon, turned biathlon (without the guns), would become a NO-athlon. But those are some tough ladies. By tough, I mean that half of them could've tossed me 30 feet into the lake and the other half would've had no trouble beating my Honda in a 3 mile race. As the race went on I made very communicative eye contact with some other supportive husbands. Some of the messages sent with raised eye-brows and headnods were:
- Can you believe we're standing here in the pouring rain in 6 inches of mud watching people swim in a lake, on purpose, when we could be home watching College Game Day on ESPN?!
or
- I'm wetter than my wife, and she's swimming in a lake!
But we all made it. Traci was amazing, no shocker at all. Leading up to it I was not allowed to tell people that she was "training for a triathlon." So instead I pointed out that she was swimming, biking, and running multiple times a week on the odd chance that she'd need to do these three things back to back to back at some point in the future. She's strong at downplaying expectations. After the race she made us hang around waiting for the results to be posted. She also got in line to get a massage. This left me to stoically hold my red umbrella and pretend I was happy to not be on my couch, dry. It was at this point that I experienced a quite lonely moment - as a muscle guy with long flowing hair gave the Mrs. HTF a thorough massage and I wasn't about to make small talk with any of the other folks in the area, 104% of which were women being watched closely by husbands/boyfriends, who like me, were unsure of how to function normally surrounded by that much estrogen. By my count the massage lasted just under two weeks and they finally had the awards ceremony. Traci took FIFTH PLACE in her age bracket (out of 42 women) and EIGHTEENTH overall (out of 253 women). So I continue to be in awe of this mother of four. I just hope next time I get to root her on in a tropical storm I get to watch from the comfort of my dry ark.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
Toilets, Toddlers, and Time to Party!
Like you I mark my little passage through life with major milestones (graduations, getting married, the birth of our kids, remembering to get the trash out on the curb BEFORE I hear the truck, . . . etc.) We are approaching one of our grandest milestones as a couple - the last of our children to learn when and how to use indoor plumbing! Potty training is not for the weak spirited. There have been points, usually while I was wiping something off the floor that had no business being there, when it seemed perfectly logical to me to revert to diapers until the kids were in junior high or so.
One of the oddest parts of the process, if you're an outsider, is the fake, and sometimes very real, joy that parents have to show when there has been a successful encounter with the toilet. Today my 2-year-old called me at work to let me know that she was in fact at that moment seated on the toilet taking care of business. (I sincerely encourage you to call your parents next time when you have similar news to share) As Allison described what was happening I gave her multiple positive verbal responses. I was sitting in my cubicle (a word that should be changed) and anyone walking by would have had to stop in their tracks as I loudly said phrases like:
"Yay!"
"Did you do it in the potty?!"
"So your Dora underwear is dry?!"
"You're such a big girl!"
(you get the idea)
It was real, pure, unadulterated joy. So now we sit (or rather Allison sits) on the cusp of life's next great milestone. We won't have to buy diapers again until the Mrs. HTF and I are A LOT older. After 9 years of Huggie Happiness (a good name for a rock band) we will soon see our disposable (pun intended) income increase by thousands of dollars a year. So please cheer us on, and for any of you brave parents still fighting the good fight of teaching this bit of self-sufficiency - it is absolutely worth it, and it'll make their junior high experience just that much better.
One of the oddest parts of the process, if you're an outsider, is the fake, and sometimes very real, joy that parents have to show when there has been a successful encounter with the toilet. Today my 2-year-old called me at work to let me know that she was in fact at that moment seated on the toilet taking care of business. (I sincerely encourage you to call your parents next time when you have similar news to share) As Allison described what was happening I gave her multiple positive verbal responses. I was sitting in my cubicle (a word that should be changed) and anyone walking by would have had to stop in their tracks as I loudly said phrases like:
"Yay!"
"Did you do it in the potty?!"
"So your Dora underwear is dry?!"
"You're such a big girl!"
(you get the idea)
It was real, pure, unadulterated joy. So now we sit (or rather Allison sits) on the cusp of life's next great milestone. We won't have to buy diapers again until the Mrs. HTF and I are A LOT older. After 9 years of Huggie Happiness (a good name for a rock band) we will soon see our disposable (pun intended) income increase by thousands of dollars a year. So please cheer us on, and for any of you brave parents still fighting the good fight of teaching this bit of self-sufficiency - it is absolutely worth it, and it'll make their junior high experience just that much better.
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Breaking News from HTF . . .
When the junior Senator from Illinois decided to announce his VP pick via text message that kinda opened up a whole new world for announcing stuff. I don't want to be left behind on using "newer" technology to make my own, even more important, announcements. So here goes:
The whole HTF family will be moving soon from KC to Seattle and I'll be working for Microsoft.
I'm not gonna go into much more depth, cuz this is a blog that anyone has access to (but only 3 or 4 people actually look at). We are totally excited, but also sad about the people we'll be leaving behind here in O-Town, not the least of which are Nana and Grandpa Frog. I've lived here within a several block radius since I was 4-years-old (excluding college and my missionary time in Venezuela), so it feels like an adventure to leave. But now we're off to Seattle where I'm told it's 80 degrees and sunny year round . . . at least that's what the recruiter said while winking. The Mrs. HTF has family in Anchorage, so we can grab our passports, hop on a plane, and go visit the in-laws in their igloos a bit easier. (Traci loves it when I make my funny funny jokes about Alaska)
So there it is, I too made a big announcement using "new" technology. I did try to leak it to CNN several hours ago like Obama did, but for some reason they weren't interested . . . it must be a HUGE news day!
The whole HTF family will be moving soon from KC to Seattle and I'll be working for Microsoft.
I'm not gonna go into much more depth, cuz this is a blog that anyone has access to (but only 3 or 4 people actually look at). We are totally excited, but also sad about the people we'll be leaving behind here in O-Town, not the least of which are Nana and Grandpa Frog. I've lived here within a several block radius since I was 4-years-old (excluding college and my missionary time in Venezuela), so it feels like an adventure to leave. But now we're off to Seattle where I'm told it's 80 degrees and sunny year round . . . at least that's what the recruiter said while winking. The Mrs. HTF has family in Anchorage, so we can grab our passports, hop on a plane, and go visit the in-laws in their igloos a bit easier. (Traci loves it when I make my funny funny jokes about Alaska)
So there it is, I too made a big announcement using "new" technology. I did try to leak it to CNN several hours ago like Obama did, but for some reason they weren't interested . . . it must be a HUGE news day!
Saturday, September 06, 2008
The Parade and the Potty Talk
We took the kiddos to the annual "Old Settler's Day" Parade. We celebrate that here in Olathe to honor our "settlers who were old." I'm not sure why the younger ones did't merit a parade. Here were a few observations/comments:
- I had fun helping my son try to figure out why some of the horses in the parade had a large burlap sack attached to their backsides
- I'm not sure who decided that it was a great idea to hand out tons (and I mean that term literally) of teeth-rotting candy to the kids watching the parade, but my wife and I insincerely thank the organizers. It was a Halloween-like haul for my crew.
- Pretty sure that some of the schools have more kids in the marching band than actually attend the school.
- Worst "float" was a tow truck. That's all it was. Didn't have music, lights, and it wasn't even towing anything. I kinda think it was just a guy who took a wrong turn.
- One of the local mega-churches had its entire congregation walking along handing out water bottles as marketing. I heard one of them call it "holy water." Seriously . . .?!
- There were a couple karate groups out there. One of them featured two girls "fighting" as they walked the parade route. I hope they were still friends after the thing was over.
- I think one of the requirements for being a local politician is to have a lot of kids. Because most of the politicians featured numerous young kids handing out flyers and/or frisbees to the crowd.
- The most memorable "float" was a giant toilet sponsored by a local plumbing company. It made loud flushing sounds and shot out tootsie rolls (yes, I said tootsie rolls) to the crowd. On the side of the truck were these profound words:
"Everyday is a holiday when you have a working toilet"
After reading that life somehow felt a little sweeter. Thank goodness for those old settlers!
- I had fun helping my son try to figure out why some of the horses in the parade had a large burlap sack attached to their backsides
- I'm not sure who decided that it was a great idea to hand out tons (and I mean that term literally) of teeth-rotting candy to the kids watching the parade, but my wife and I insincerely thank the organizers. It was a Halloween-like haul for my crew.
- Pretty sure that some of the schools have more kids in the marching band than actually attend the school.
- Worst "float" was a tow truck. That's all it was. Didn't have music, lights, and it wasn't even towing anything. I kinda think it was just a guy who took a wrong turn.
- One of the local mega-churches had its entire congregation walking along handing out water bottles as marketing. I heard one of them call it "holy water." Seriously . . .?!
- There were a couple karate groups out there. One of them featured two girls "fighting" as they walked the parade route. I hope they were still friends after the thing was over.
- I think one of the requirements for being a local politician is to have a lot of kids. Because most of the politicians featured numerous young kids handing out flyers and/or frisbees to the crowd.
- The most memorable "float" was a giant toilet sponsored by a local plumbing company. It made loud flushing sounds and shot out tootsie rolls (yes, I said tootsie rolls) to the crowd. On the side of the truck were these profound words:
"Everyday is a holiday when you have a working toilet"
After reading that life somehow felt a little sweeter. Thank goodness for those old settlers!
Friday, September 05, 2008
That Big Austrian Guy
We're back to the mailbag today and get to hear from a big Arnold fan.
Dear HTF:
So since the RNC didn’t get started until Tuesday, and Arnold S. was supposed to speak on Monday, we just miss out? How can this be allowed to happen? I was so looking forward to hearing him say (insert thick Austrian accent here) “California” 5 or 6 times during his speech…what a bummer!
CM
Yeah, I was bummed too about the Governator not getting to wow the c
rowd with his wit and wisdom. I'm told that between speakers they showed key scenes from Predator and Kindergarten Cop (two strikingly similar films) so that the crowd wouldn't feel like they missed out too much. Last night after the balloons had deflated and the confetti had sufficiently clogged up the air conditioning system those wild and crazy Republicans gathered around the big screen and watched all 28 Terminator movies. So yea, we missed out, but since your favorite politician is a bit of a movie star, he can always be with you, CM. Thanks for the question!
Got any important/irrelevant questions or comments? Send 'em in to henrythefrog@gmail.com.
Dear HTF:
So since the RNC didn’t get started until Tuesday, and Arnold S. was supposed to speak on Monday, we just miss out? How can this be allowed to happen? I was so looking forward to hearing him say (insert thick Austrian accent here) “California” 5 or 6 times during his speech…what a bummer!
CM
Yeah, I was bummed too about the Governator not getting to wow the c
rowd with his wit and wisdom. I'm told that between speakers they showed key scenes from Predator and Kindergarten Cop (two strikingly similar films) so that the crowd wouldn't feel like they missed out too much. Last night after the balloons had deflated and the confetti had sufficiently clogged up the air conditioning system those wild and crazy Republicans gathered around the big screen and watched all 28 Terminator movies. So yea, we missed out, but since your favorite politician is a bit of a movie star, he can always be with you, CM. Thanks for the question!Got any important/irrelevant questions or comments? Send 'em in to henrythefrog@gmail.com.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Republicans Get Loco, Moose Hunting Among Friends, and There Will Be Change
So I just finished watching McCain's speech and the end of the RNC. It should probably be renamed RDB (Republicans Dancing Badly). Clearly there is an epidemic of rhythmically-impaired Republicans and we need an emergency Federal Program to address the problem. Right now there are lots and lots of balloons and winter has started early in Minnesota, cuz it looks like it snowing in there. Pretty sure that one of those white beach-ball balloons knocked over the Senator's 138 year-old mother. (who I'm not a fan of because of this)
I hope that a lot of you (by which I mean both of you who read my blog) got to see some of the show this week. I think the way we elect a president is a bizarre process, which I'll document for you at some point, but these conventions are a marvelous way to kick off the last couple months of more political ads than actual TV programing. Reflecting on it now though, they should've probably just ended it last night with Sarah Palin's speech. Are you serious?! That was amazing. If you haven't seen it, go check it out, regardless of your party, gender, race, age, religion, shoe size, dental care status, or haircut - it was riveting. She won me over, really did. A week ago when she was announced I was dumbfounded and thought JohnnyMac had seen BO's speech the night before and just decided to throw the election. It took some time, but Gov Palin's speech made me a convert and she is now a full-fledged rock star. Brilliant move politically . . . as long at it, you know, works. PLUS they'll probably get ALL of Alaska's electoral votes, which are shared with Montana.
From the convention we've learned that the GOP is:
- For Change (shocker)
- Against the liberal, mean, stinky, out-of-touch, make-up-wearing, wimpy, elite media
- For Hockey-Moms (a term I'd never heard and still don't know what it means, but I'm assuming it's something about mothers who fight with sticks and gloves while ice skating)
- Against people who give great speeches in front of monstrous foam pillars in massive stadiums
- Not capable of pulling off any recognizable dance moves
- Totally supportive of Change
- In favor of moving "Washington" to an entirely different location, such as Wassila, Alaska
- Planning to fight corruption by sending offenders to France
So now it is on! This hopefully means that Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper will continue their broadcast in matching suits for the next 60 days, straight. I'm
thinking that it would be marvelous if the 4 candidates went together on a moose-hunting trip in Alaska. That would be some PRICELESS reality TV. You can rest assured that the moose would be a little more frightened of the Republican ticket. I've just learned that the caribou can't vote in the national election, however, they do play a big roll in local politics I'm told. In some Alaskan counties you're required to wear antlers in the city council meetings.
We'll all be watching and listening, and a few of us, the moose to be specific, may even be dancing.
I hope that a lot of you (by which I mean both of you who read my blog) got to see some of the show this week. I think the way we elect a president is a bizarre process, which I'll document for you at some point, but these conventions are a marvelous way to kick off the last couple months of more political ads than actual TV programing. Reflecting on it now though, they should've probably just ended it last night with Sarah Palin's speech. Are you serious?! That was amazing. If you haven't seen it, go check it out, regardless of your party, gender, race, age, religion, shoe size, dental care status, or haircut - it was riveting. She won me over, really did. A week ago when she was announced I was dumbfounded and thought JohnnyMac had seen BO's speech the night before and just decided to throw the election. It took some time, but Gov Palin's speech made me a convert and she is now a full-fledged rock star. Brilliant move politically . . . as long at it, you know, works. PLUS they'll probably get ALL of Alaska's electoral votes, which are shared with Montana.
From the convention we've learned that the GOP is:
- For Change (shocker)
- Against the liberal, mean, stinky, out-of-touch, make-up-wearing, wimpy, elite media
- For Hockey-Moms (a term I'd never heard and still don't know what it means, but I'm assuming it's something about mothers who fight with sticks and gloves while ice skating)
- Against people who give great speeches in front of monstrous foam pillars in massive stadiums
- Not capable of pulling off any recognizable dance moves
- Totally supportive of Change
- In favor of moving "Washington" to an entirely different location, such as Wassila, Alaska
- Planning to fight corruption by sending offenders to France
So now it is on! This hopefully means that Wolf Blitzer and Anderson Cooper will continue their broadcast in matching suits for the next 60 days, straight. I'm
thinking that it would be marvelous if the 4 candidates went together on a moose-hunting trip in Alaska. That would be some PRICELESS reality TV. You can rest assured that the moose would be a little more frightened of the Republican ticket. I've just learned that the caribou can't vote in the national election, however, they do play a big roll in local politics I'm told. In some Alaskan counties you're required to wear antlers in the city council meetings.We'll all be watching and listening, and a few of us, the moose to be specific, may even be dancing.
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