Exposed by a Chicken and Cool-looking Continents

Wednesday, December 09, 2009 | | |

Above my desk on the wall is a map of South America.  To quote the girl from “Up” - “it’s like America . . . only South.”  Spending sometimes multiple hours every day here at my desk I get to look at this map a good bit (it’s the closest thing I have to a window – other people may see trees, mountains and sun, but I see a whole freakin’ continent!).  A few things I noticed:

  • It has to be the continent with the coolest shape…by far.
  • Brazil = huge.  I think we forget that sometimes.  But there are large snakes there, so I’d rather it was a big place than a small place.
  • Just for fun, draw a picture of Chile.  Gotta be the weirdest-shaped country.
  • I lived 2 years in Venezuela as a missionary.  Fascinating times.  Got to see what “poor” really meant.  LOVED the people there – pretty convinced they were happier than your average Americans.

And now a quick story involving a chicken and a super awkward kitchen/bathroom moment in Venezuela:

One day we were in the “house” (air quotes intended) of a family in Maracaibo.  It was a bunch of cinderblocks with aluminum sheets for a roof.  Dirt floor.  Family of 7 sleeping in one room with a single mattress.  And Kitchen=familyroom=bathroom (they’re all one room).  Except the bathroom was a toilet surrounded by precariously-hung shower curtains.  Well, one piece of instruction I’d been given was NOT to drink the water.  I broke this rule pretty often, just because I was so darn thirsty all the time.  My stomach and I suffered the consequences.  And on this particular day it hit me in a not-so-subtle way.  I asked the family if I could use the “bathroom” a few feet from the chairs we were sitting on.  So I closed the curtains and put all shame aside.  As I sat there I saw this under my protective curtain:

A few moments later the offending chicken started pecking at the curtain – clearly he was trying to bond with me.  In one fell swoop the entire curtain contraption fell to the ground and I was a guy sitting on a toilet in the middle of somebody’s living room surrounded by an entire family who was trying, unsuccessfully, to suppress tear-inducing laughter.  The parents quickly tried to pick up the curtain and restore my pseudo-privacy, but the damage was quite done.

Not sure why that story popped out, but now when I look at this map every day, I get to think about that experience.  Well, now in our house you can rest assured that we have a strict No Chickens In the Bathroom rule.


  1. Anonymous says:

    Not really up on my texting abbreviations... but I think the one I should use is LMAO!
    Sarah G

  2. Traci says:

    Aren't you glad we moved that map so you could recall these great memories? What would the blank wall have done for you before it "was decorated" by the map? :)

  3. The Texas Bakers says:

    ROFLMAO!!! Who was more traumatized, you or the chicken?!?!?

  4. Emmy says:

    Lol!!!! Oh my gosh that would be horrible.

    And yes no chickens in the bathroom is a good rule.

  5. JJ says:

    Oh my goodness! That's like every horrible, embarassing moment all wrapped into one. I'm not sure I would want to be reminded of that one every day but to each his own.

  6. Julianna says:

    OH MY GOODNESS !!!!! I just laughed so hard that I really cried. What a picture that paints. What a memory that must be. For all involved parties. Thanks so much, Scott. You made my week.

  7. Gonzalo A. Peña says:

    If I hadn'y been in that home I would have believed that story was fake. But nope Mr. HTF evidently left a... deep impression in Venezuela ;)

  8. agm says:

    hahahah - that is so funny - I'm still laughing about this a day later!!

    After reading this, I have also decided that my house is a little like Venezuela: you shouldn't drink the water here, & at least once every two weeks, I knock the shower curtain down & get totally tangled up in it. I am able to accomplish this all by myself and without the help of a chicken. Yes, I am that incredibly talented.

    Great story, HTF!!

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