Thursday, February 12, 2009

There’s Nothing Quite Like A New Office, Especially This One

One of my favorite things about most of my jobs is that I can never be precisely sure what my day is gonna be like at work.  Pretty much all I can be sure of is that I’ll show up at the office, and we’ll go from there.  Well, today, even that part didn’t work out right.  Yesterday was our office move where they moved us from one building to an adjacent building.  I arrived this morning expecting to see the new office consisting of a desk, a lamp, a phone, a monitor, and my little box of fun (which is about as fun as a box containing files, pens, books, and a notebook can be).  As I approached my new office for the first time I was greeted by this taped to the door:


I glanced at it and figured they had some problem with the furniture or something.  But when I opened the door my jaw dropped.

I HAD BEEN MOVED INTO SOMEBODY’S STORAGE CLOSET.  If you think I’m exaggerating, check out the non-comprehensive list of special things in my new office:

  • A huge box of lanyards with badges for some marketing conference and like 6 keyboards
  • A tree
  • No less than 5 USB hubs
  • Roughly 13 rolls of serious tape
  • Multiple boxes of Marketing goodies including pens, flashlights, notebooks, binder clips . . . etc.
  • A SERVER, and I’m not talking about they guy who brings your nachos at the restaurant, I’m talking about the computer that puts off more heat than a walrus on a treadmill
  • Rolls and rolls of posters
  • A plastic tub full of Gatorade bottles
  • Stacks of VHS tapes (I didn’t know those still existed) that I don’t want to know anything about
  • Tons of misc office supplies
  • Somebody’s old, grey sweat pants
  • AND BEER . . . that’s right, there were multiple cases of beer cans of various brands, and the fridge was full of ‘em too

I wish that list was a creative writing exercise, but instead that is a catalog of the highlights of my new office.  I could barely pull up a chair to my desk.  It was like I was the victim of a tremendous corporate prank (good name for a rock band).  I’m told that whoever the “owner” of the office is will be cleaning it out soon, but they can’t figure out who that person is . . . and for good reason – would you fess up to it?  So until it gets sorted out I have perhaps the most interesting office at the company.  And in case you don’t believe me, here are a few photos, remember – the room was supposed to be totally empty:

          IMG_0549  IMG_0552


So if you’re in the neighborhood, please be sure to stop by.  You can leave new stuff (whatever you like) or take a little something for your office.  As for me, I’ll try not to be too troubled about being officed in a supply closet.


Michelle said...

So I think if no one claims the contents of the closet you should be able to sell them. The beer might just go first!!

Matt said...

That is about the funniest thing I have ever seen. Having been moved around a little in the corporate world, all I can say is that is the best prank I have ever seen!

It's better than having your stapler put in a block of Jello, or having your office Seran wrapped!

rlsecor said...

Those video tapes worry me - what with the beer, tape and grey sweats and all... might want to steer clear of those.

However, it does seem like you have an ideal spot in the event of a natural windows, flashlights, food and drink and plenty of odd ball things to do.

Can't see it becoming a dangerous hotspot for impromptu office meetings either.

I would take caution if you do decide to stock your mini fridge - if you are looking to become the new office "water cooler" and become privy to all the good gosip and war stories - then stock it well. Other wise you might want to hide your cokes behind a tight row of V8 juice bottles.

Finally, never discount the value of having your very own copy machine. Next time you are stuck in the middle of a "why am I here?" conference call, waiting for a program to run, or info to come in an email --- BINGO, you can photo copy various body parts and other random things you've dying your whole life to do :)

Marie said...

Haha, sounds like fun! That is a little random, but isn't variety good?

Anonymous said...

Scott, Have you seen the movie "Office Space"? If they try to take your stapler, I would run for it! :)

agm said...

I love how alias friendly MS is!! It cracked me up that the "Oops!" sheet (band name?) has name OR alias listed on it. You should totally claim a new alias & leave that office for whoever that poor USB hub collectin', sweatpants wearin', & Gatorade guzzlin' Scott Pope person is. hahhahah

I can't decide whether this whole situation reminds me more of Office Space or a Seinfeld episode, but this might be my favorite HTF post ever!!

Jeremiah Bowles said...

I am hoping you will post most of these items on E-bay. This would be awesome if I could buy some of this "Junk". Apparently no-body is missing this stuff so, let me know when you post it to e-bay so I can bid.

Jeremiah the Bullfrog

Sarah said...


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