Not so Off-Duty

Wednesday, October 24, 2007 | | |

On the plane today I had the unfortunate luck to have an off-duty stewardess sit next to me. She was decked out in her Southwest uniform, but must've just been along for the ride. We did the polite head-nod thing when she sat down, and my experience has been that these folks are usually pleasant and nice, but she quickly proved me wrong.

As the plane backed up I was listening to a book-on-iPod, but she annoyingly taps me on the shoulder and said, and I'm not making this up, "you need to turn off all electronic devices." Seriously? The REAL Stewardesses hadn't even gotten close to that part of the schpeel yet. I begrudgingly took the ear buds out of my ears and pushed pause. How is the iPod gonna make the plane crash, can anyone explain that to me?

After we were up and flying I dozed off - and in my mid-snooze the lady again does the nasty shoulder tap asking me if I want something to drink. Would any of you do that?! Sheesh!

To cap the whole thing off I was holding a book in my lap (not reading it) as we were descending to land, and she told me I should "probably put that underneath the seat." So if you happen to ever happen to board the plane and there's an open seat next to the off-duty stewardess - go find a different one.

2 comments:

  1. millerjk says:

    Happy flying...John is about to board his 15 hour flight to come home...hope he has a better time than you!

  2. alese says:

    The best way to deal with her would have been use the 'gross her out' strategy! You should have wiped your nose on your sleeve and casually brushed it against her or picked your nose and rolled it in your fingers for awhile and flicked in her general direction...and if all that fails start an intense conversation about visiting your friend who was your last cellmate. Maybe then she might let you sleep.

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