The Cycle and the Blue Sheep

As many of you know I'm back in KC with the family for a couple weeks.  It's been awesome, a bit like coming up for air after diving far too deep in the pool.  But it hasn't been without its, uh, glitches moments.  To go from living totally alone to living back with the family DURING CHRISTMAS VACATION is a pleasant shock to the system.  But it can feel a little like trying to run a marathon after not running a step for a few years.  You see, the kids (all 4 of 'em) are on the constant Christmas-binge-and-crash-cycle. 

It's really quite something to see.  They happily play, even sharing at rare moments and we all have a great time.  Then the tension creeps in and before you know it they're reprimanding each other, and sometimes me, for deep offenses such as accidentally putting the daddy doll in the kid's nursery room in the doll house.  (of course I had no idea I was committing an actual atrocity since to my untrained-eye all the rooms look pretty similar)  Then the kids play harder and harder (and consume additional sugar), which results in much more impressive yelling and statements shouted at me including, "I don't want to eat now or ever!!!"  (actual quote from my 7 year old when I tried to peal him away from the new Wii for lunch) 

But eventually comes the crash portion of the cycle, which is beautiful to watch, assuming you've kept a safe distance.  At the peak of the super-rational-freak-out (good name for a rock band) the child suddenly falls totally asleep no matter where they are.  Oh they might fight it, but it's clear the brain has shut down.  For instance, instead of shouting, "I don't want to sleep on my bed" they may say, "I kicked a blue sheep on a shed."  The tough part is that it's nearly impossible to predict the crash, but if you have the stamina to endure the rest of the day, observing the child falling asleep can be like a hot shower after shoveling all of the snow on your driveway with your hands while wearing shorts.  (I probably overreached on that particular metaphor) 

Don't get me at all wrong, my kids are great and usually marvelous to deal with - we've had some awesome moments the last few days and there is no place on the planet I'd rather be.  I'm the luckiest guy you know.  But the cycle is cracking me up.  Anyway, I have one more week to soak up the fun before I'm back in Seattle and the kids are back to the normalcy of school schedules.  Until then you can count on me to take in every minute whether or not I'm being tongue-lashed for such offenses as enforcing a strict midnight-toy-curfew on the kids.

Merry Christmas to the Readers and a Shot at a Prize

First and foremost I want to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas. Hopefully your day has been somewhat similar to mine, which generally has consisted of:

- Watching small children opening presents and emitting sounds of glee.
- Staging a full-scale extraction to get the toys out of the packaging, using power tools and everything
- Watching the youngest experience her first present-opening-euphoria, where even after everything was opened she was frantically searching for more
- Eating stuff
- Simultaneously playing dollhouse, Legos, Wii, and Memory in an attempt to keep everyting happy

So as you can see, it's been an awesome Navidad so far.

The Mrs. HTF already posted a little something.

I also wanted to thank each of you, or at least both of you who read this, for reading along with HTF this year. It's been an interesting year and between my family, the election, the olympics, your questions/comments and other real-life stuff there's been no shortage of material. I've had a ball reading your comments and pseudo-answering your questions. Thanks for making this a great year that way.

In the spirit of all of the other top-10 lists of everything that get published at year-end I'll be doing my own top-10 posts list in the next week or so. But I'm asking for your help, and there could be a little something in it for you too. Please post a comment or drop me an e-mail with your favorite HTF posts of 2008 (that's assuming you liked at least a couple of 'em). You don't need to provide justification or anything (unless you wanna), just a list of 3-5 is fine. Here's the fun part - everyone who submits a list will be entered into a drawing for fantastic prizes which you're guaranteed to either like or regift to someone you don't really dig. I'll randomly pick a winner. (It's Christmas, I'm in a giving mood)

So thanks again for playing along with the blog this year. I hope you're having a great day with family and friends. As for me, I'm off to build a lego castle if we can figure out how to get the actual legos out of the box.

Much luv,

HTF

Christmas Shopping and Dangerous Fish

As usually happens, the Mrs. HTF has done all of the Christmas shopping.  It's not like she doesn't try to involve me.  She asks me what I think we should buy for certain people and my responses, while often lengthy, can pretty much be summarized in one word:

"Uhhhh . . ."

I'm a guy, so my idea of shopping is that you go to a store, THEN you decide what to buy.  All this "planning" seems like a huge waste of time.  Granted, I certainly overpay, and sometimes I find myself in a sporting goods store looking for gifts for my grandma who can barely walk.  Often I will just buy the first shiny object I see and call it a successful day.  (my wife didn't like the aluminum foil I bought her last year)  See shopping is literally painful to me.  I have the attention span of a 3 year old reading War & Peace.  So speed is key.  One other thing - I am scared to death of intense female shoppers.  I respect them in much the same way I respect sharks (cool to observe from a very safe distance, but no desire to come in contact with them).  Several years ago I made one of those Black Friday ventures at 5 AM to a Walmart (at my wife's behest) and I'm not making this up - I came out with bruises from the shopping carts of obsessed women.  So in addition to being a bad shopper, I'm also kinda scared of it. 

And now you can see why I'm not in charge of the gift buying.  (I pretty much just get consulted after the gifts are purchased so I'm not the one acting surprised when the kids open things up and thank me.)  So if you happen to get a gift from me this year - thank Traci first and then let me know what I bought you.

To Pile On or Not To Pile On

Tonight I took a gander (not goose-related) at the HTF mailbag to see who's been naughty (those who never post comments or submit questions) and who's been nice (everyone else).  Here was one of the festive questions I found, appropriately titled "X-mas Excess":

HTF,

I'd like to gain your perspective on Christmas - and the pile of presents stacked around the house the day after.  Are the presents a distraction to what Christmas should be about, a way to show those around us how much we appreciate them (in a materialistic sense), or something else I'm completely missing?  The day after I find myself toggling between "all these presents are just way overboard" and "look at the kids faces and the memories a great Christmas has provided them".  Any wisdom you can shed is much appreciated.

BP

My friend, that's a marvelous question, and it's one that plagues millions of parents.  First let me say that you certainly don't need to buy me a huge pile of presents.  I'm good with a small mound.  But for perspective on this one we need to remember what Christmas used to be like before we got into this never-ending holiday-gift-giving-arms-war.  Way back when, by which I mean WAY BACK even before the internet, families would gather around a not-particularly-impressive potted plant on Christmas Eve.  (This, of course, evolved into our current tradition of chopping down entire forests of perfectly healthy trees and putting them in our living rooms the way nature intend.)  But in the old days the families would sit down, sing a few songs, and instead of exchanging presents, they'd simply give each other a series of verbal compliments.  However, as you might imagine doing this in your own family, these compliments could get just a little back-handed.  For example:

- Mom might say to the teenage boy, "Merry Christmas, Joey.  You are doing so well on learning to drive.  I like that our mailbox is now a hood ornament on your car."  OR

- Dad might say to Mom, "Merry Christmas, Honey.  I reviewed our insurance records and your cooking, with the resulting ER visits, helped us get to our out-of-pocket deductible much quicker this year."

At this point Mom reaches for the nearby lump of coal and flings it at Dad's jolly head.  Now you all know where the festive little "lump of coal" (good name for a rock band) tradition comes from.  So times were simpler then, and clearly better.  All the gifts we do now are a perfectly acceptable substitute for conversation and in some cases they do make for great memories, particularly the ones that you spend several weeks assembling and the ones that break before your Christmas Day nap.  (but those can be some pricey memories)  So as you toggle (great word choice by the way) this holiday season between the massive pile of happiness you will bequeath on the kids and the realization that you are, in fact, WAY overdoing it - try this - substitute a few of the gifts for some heartfelt words of love.  And after your kids have forgiven you, take them directly to the toy store. 

Thanks for the question!!

You too can get a "response" to your question like BP.  Send 'em in to henrythefrog@gmail.com.