My Mad Shopping Skillz

I've never been a shopper. Just isn't something that I can tolerate well for more than 2 minutes. I'm extremely lucky that the Mrs. HTF does 102% of all the shopping and my spending is mostly limited to work lunches and iTunes. I also have this "disability" (for lack of a better word) that makes me ALWAYS screw up the shopping when I do end up buying stuff. A few of my more common shopping errors:

- Buying the wrong size or quantity of whatever
- Searching for one item in a store for several hours before asking for help, at which point I'm informed that they don't have eggs at the sporting goods store
- Listening to shopping advice from the four-year-old I brought with me
- Failure to use coupons the right way or to swipe the "loyalty card" so I get a better price
- Buying the wrong brand or flavor of whatever
- Having a well-written shopping list, but mysteriously being oblivious to several of the items listed. This always ends with me saying, "How did I miss that?!" when I get home.
- Buying what I will generically refer to as "treats" when they weren't on the list - often at the urging of the lucky (and persuasive) child I brought with me

I could go on, but I'm well aware that most of you readers are married women so you know exactly what I'm talking about. And for the guys out there, I'm pretty sure you get what I'm saying too. There's no real cure for my shopping problems - and in this case practice most definitely will never make perfect. And it could get pricey over time. I could be accused of screwing up on purpose so that I don't get asked to do it. While I could give college courses on that particular strategy, I guarantee that I don't need to TRY to screw up the shopping thing. So on behalf of most guys out there I ask for continued patience. And if you ladies are asking yourselves, "is he this clueless at work" - (to which the correct answer is "he fakes it better there") rest assured that the stupidity only sets in when there's a large, rolling, metal cart at his fingertips.