Saturday, December 20, 2008

Christmas Shopping and Dangerous Fish

As usually happens, the Mrs. HTF has done all of the Christmas shopping.  It's not like she doesn't try to involve me.  She asks me what I think we should buy for certain people and my responses, while often lengthy, can pretty much be summarized in one word:

"Uhhhh . . ."

I'm a guy, so my idea of shopping is that you go to a store, THEN you decide what to buy.  All this "planning" seems like a huge waste of time.  Granted, I certainly overpay, and sometimes I find myself in a sporting goods store looking for gifts for my grandma who can barely walk.  Often I will just buy the first shiny object I see and call it a successful day.  (my wife didn't like the aluminum foil I bought her last year)  See shopping is literally painful to me.  I have the attention span of a 3 year old reading War & Peace.  So speed is key.  One other thing - I am scared to death of intense female shoppers.  I respect them in much the same way I respect sharks (cool to observe from a very safe distance, but no desire to come in contact with them).  Several years ago I made one of those Black Friday ventures at 5 AM to a Walmart (at my wife's behest) and I'm not making this up - I came out with bruises from the shopping carts of obsessed women.  So in addition to being a bad shopper, I'm also kinda scared of it. 

And now you can see why I'm not in charge of the gift buying.  (I pretty much just get consulted after the gifts are purchased so I'm not the one acting surprised when the kids open things up and thank me.)  So if you happen to get a gift from me this year - thank Traci first and then let me know what I bought you.


Anonymous said...

But if you didn't get a gift, it's Scott's fault and not mine. =)

Marie said...

So why do you only mention obsessed female shoppers? I bet there are plenty of obsessed male shoppers out there... okay, maybe not, but the feminist side of me doesn't like the idea of the obsessed woman shopper (me not being one of them, unless it comes to coupons and sales, then watch out!). Maybe I better be quiet...

rlsecor said...

This is so my life right now. I being the shopper and my Mr. being the Uhhhhh. It sounds much funnier reading it about someone else! And I can't believe she didn't like the Aluminum foil!

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