Today I found myself at a massive company meeting in Atlanta. There were more than 12,000 people from all over the world in a huge arena – it was kinda like a World Cup match, except slightly more violent during the bathroom breaks (the toilet/urinal to uncomfortable-person ratio was awfully high…) At the beginning they recognized people who won awesome awards for doing awesome things. And it made more fun because it was a surprise to the people being called up from among a group of like 70 nominees on the stage. The winners would smile gleefully and get hugged and/or chest-bumped by senior executives (this sounds awkward, but they played loud rock music, so that somehow made it feel right). And then they’d be handed a ginormous trophy, which I don’t think they can carry on the plane.
At one point a name was read and a happy dude sprung up and started getting his congratulations, but one of the presenters stopped the festivities, whispered something to him, and SENT THE GUY AWAY. The name read had actually belonged to lady next to him, so she was called up and congratulated as the real doer of awesome things. Somehow the guy had thought the name read out was his. So he was left back in the group on that stage in a bright-red-funk (GNFARB), clapping listlessly for the actual winner. It was probably the most embarrassing thing I’ve seen live. All 12,000 of us and the ushers, totally saw what happened. Poor dude. We all (those of us with beating hearts at least) felt for the guy, but there was some snickering. He should get some kind of award – perhaps he should be given a name tag with his name on it or perhaps a signed picture of the female winner. But if I were in charge, I’d just give the guy a trophy out of pity. It could be engraved with,
“That one guy who momentarily forgot his name”
The mailbag has been pretty sparse for a while. Remember to send in your questions/comments to firstname.lastname@example.org. I'll be happy to answer them, mostly like in a way that will leave you forgetting what the actual questions was.