Not like any race I've ever been in

Wednesday, January 30, 2008 | | |

Some of you may remember my discovery of the "Spinning" phenomenon. I gained a great appreciation for this marvelous exercise, but it hurt my butt so I've been back to do it a total of zero times. But Traci, the Mrs. HTF, has kept at it religiously. She rides that special bike thing at least 3 times a week . . . and then she runs on the treadmill to "cool down." Yeah, she's that fit.

A few weeks ago she came home all excited because someone in her "class" invited her to be on their team for the "spinning competition." I quickly imagined a few hundred people in a large room spinning around in circles - the last one standing wins. Now that would be fun to watch! But apparently that's not what she was talking about. In this competition they get on their specialized bikes and pedal as fast as they can for 30 minutes. (yeah, so that qualifies as freaking intense!) The team who goes the "farthest" wins. But the part that's had me laughing at random moments for weeks now is the title of the competition. It's called THE RACE TO NOWHERE. Perfect name I'd say. My friend Kevin's wife does it too and he got me started on all of the funny funniness that comes from that name and the race. Here are a few questions/comments about THE RACE TO NOWHERE:

  • Isn't it ironic that the goal is distance, but you literally don't move an inch?
  • If you pedal backwards do you go "somewhere" instead of "nowhere?"
  • Isn't it kinda anticlimactic when you finish the race? "Uh . . . I guess I'm done . . . but I'm not really sure."
  • Maybe for a prize they should give out maps to everybody so they could go somewhere.
  • Or before the race they could hand out a map with a pin in it saying "start here, . . . and end here too"
  • How do you know when you get there?
  • Apparently "nowhere" is straight ahead because I couldn't get those handle bars to turn at all.
  • Isn't it a little bit unsatisfying to train all these hours and end up . . . nowhere?
  • I'm going to try a race like this in my car. I'll see how far I can drive in 30 minutes without the car actually moving. I bet I'll go farther than Traci will on her weak little bike!
Anyway, you get the point. Feel free to add to my list in the comments to this post. Trust me, there are a lot more of 'em out there.

And to my lovely wife- because of my love and commitment I'll be there every step of the way with you, from the starting line to the finish line.

3 comments:

  1. Morgan says:

    I got a good laugh. I actually went to a spinning class today at the gym and my rear is killin'! It hurts bad. I wonder if it gets any better?

  2. Anonymous says:

    Nice start....

    How about, "in all my life I've never seen my wife go nowhere faster!"


    WARNING, the following comment may give you a headache:


    "If the race starts in a specific location, then wouldn't that be somewhere? So technically, the race to nowhere happens somewhere, goes nowhere, and ends somewhere, which is where it all started before they went nowhere, right?! So what's the rush because they were at the race's end before they started!"

  3. alese says:

    You crack me up. I like how you'll be with her every step of the way. Ha!

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