What You Need To Know Before You Vote!!

Today, we go to the mailbag for a timely question from another alert reader who is clearly a political junkie in need of a fix:

Dear HTF,

Another Presidential debate is coming up this week. What is the one question that you would ask each candidate?

Signed,
"I'm so glad someone else came up with the answer to the three questions because I'm still stuck on, "Uhhh . . . "

P.S. Because you wanted more audience participation & a full mailbox makes everyone feel great, I decided to throw in a PS for you. My questions would be:

--Barry, there are a lot of Big Poppa fans (like ahem, me!) out there. Why did you choose Ole Crazy Joe over him as your running mate?
and
--Grandpa, some people (ahem, me again!) think that Republicans are horrible dancers. Defend your party, Gramps!!

Did you just call the junior senator from Illinois, "Barry?!"

Sweet.

Those are strong suggestions. I've spent several days (by which I mean I haven't spent more than 3 seconds) now researching and formulating vital questions that the American public needs answers to in the upcoming debate. Here are a few that Captain Tommy should sling at the odd couple on stage this week:

- "Senator Obama, of the endangered species out there, which one deserves our greatest attention and which one should go hunting with Dick Cheney?"

- "Senator McCain, if you had to give Britney Spears a cabinet post which one would it be and why?"

- "Senator Big-Foam-Columns, you're against capital punishment, but what do you propose we do with that mosquito sucking blood from your forehead right now?"

- "Senator Lots-of-Houses, would you support a proposal requiring supreme court justices to wear Bono-sunglasses and JT Fedoras whenever they don their robes?"

Thanks for the question, alert reader. I could go on and on, but let's open it up to the 3 of you who actually read the blog. Click "comment" and enlighten us on what you'd like to hear.