To Click or Not To Click - The Dilemma of the book

Wednesday, December 17, 2008 | Labels: , | |

I sat down tonight to punch out a blog, but literally nada came to mind.  However, a quick peak into the mailbag solved that problem in a hurry.  Warning - if you don't use Facebook (and I know there are still a few of you holding out) this question and answer won't make quite as much sense.  Or perhaps you'll make more sense of it than I will because this one is a winner:

Dear HTF,

As you know, I am new to Facebook & I’m still trying to figure it out.  I thought it was supposed to be a friendly place, but whenever I sign on, I find that people are throwing everything under the sun at me: snowballs, drinks, iceballs, ornaments, flair, etc.  It is a little overwhelming.  What is all of this stuff??  When I click on the links, the computer asks to access all of my private info, & I freeze, back slowly away, & hope that it didn’t notice me.  And, what in the heck is a poke??  When I went to the help page, it just says that a poke “can be used for a variety of things.”  Like what?  Can I get it to fix my dryer?  Move my car when the no parking zone goes into effect?  Cook me a spaghetti dinner?  Take me to Ikea?

I went to my all knowing sister for advice, & she advised me to ignore all the extraneous stuff & continue just focusing on what I have been doing--posting random Muppet videos, replying to my own posts, and trying to figure out if I know these people from high school or from my television.  That’s easy for her to say because she has over 200 friends.  She can ignore pokes and snpotato boatowballs, lose 20 or 30 friends, and still have more people in her all star roster than there are in Plymouth Village, Kentucky (pop. 201). 

So I decided to turn to you, Captain Facebook, for your thoughts on the matter.  As part of my appreciation, I am throwing at you what I think will become the newest and most popular application in Facebook:  the potato boat!

AGM, doing my share to fill the HTF mailbox since 2008

Well, AGM, you both called me "Captain Facebook" and awarded me a potato boat, for which I am deeply troubled appreciative.  In my first week of joining The Book (I'm told that's what the kids are calling these days) over a year ago I was bitten by a werewolf, kidnapped, involved in a Mob-related Jewelry Store Heist, hit by the aforementioned snowball, invited to overthrow a government (I'm not sure which one), involved in the "worlds biggest pillow fight," and got Super-poked (OUCH) by someone I supposedly knew in high school, which made me really uncomfortable.  (If you thought a normal poke was powerful, you should see what a SuperPoke can do.  I once used one to make Rosie O'Donnell stop talking - that's powerful.) 

So I was a bit overwhelmed like you.  I'm a pleaser you see - someone who tries to keep the peace and not ruffle feathers - keep the sailing smooth - don't rock the boat - you get the idea (those idioms would all be great band names).  But then I discovered the "IGNORE BUTTON."  After pushing it a few times I felt really empowered.  Now I hit that baby a half dozen times a day.  Yeah, I have just a few friends on The Book and you'd think they'd get the idea that I never, almost never, click "ACCEPT."  But I guess they are intent on involving me in their lives of crime or at least giving me a virtual bruise. 

So my friend, this post is a bit long already, so just take my advice - Click ignore, unless it's something like a really cool piece of "flair" with a chimp throwing fedoras or something.  In that case you fire some of that action my way!

4 comments:

  1. JJ says:

    Your readers (myself excluded) are all very creative and funny. I laughed out loud at the submission by AGM. Hilarious! Especially since I have just recently been sucked into Facebook (not completely, I IGNORE a lot) and am right there with AGM as far as all the "actions" initiated with that little online tool.

    Apparently my tree is completely decked out with the highest quality ornaments and I even have wrapped gifts I didn't know about. Plus, I'm a member of a HUGE family, support the Save the Manatee movement, and have been pelted with snowballs from Arizona (that whole global warming thing must be real).

    Facebook rocks!

  2. agm says:

    Oh my goodness, you guys are making me cry because I'm laughing so hard.

    Oh, & something else funny - my sister apparently won't confirm me as her sister on Facebook. I guess I'm not immune to the "ignore" either. And I don't blame her one bit for trying to act like we are not related. Wouldn't you if you were in her shoes???

  3. rlsecor says:

    I guess I have this crazy little voice in my head saying, what happens if you click "ignore". Does the thrower or gifter get a facebook message back saying "YOUR GIFT HAS BEEN IGNORED - YOU ARE A LOSER"? I know my brother does something with buying and selling his friends and earning "money" etc. I feel that some of it is not meant for me or my generation to even try to understand. It creeps me out to get TONS of gifts, items thrown at me, etc. from people whose name I know but may have never conversed with in my life.

    I guess for a dedicated Facebooker getting poked is like a Blogger getting comments. I don't knock it, but I don't buy into it myself - I wonder if I would think differently if my "notifications" box wasn't already overflowing with things I will never respond to.

  4. ThreeofSeven says:

    Facebook?...Bloggers?...I guess I'm getting VERY old. I've had a few invitations to join "the book" (one by our dear friend, HTF), but I'm WAY too afraid to do it. Have you read that email about the virus that draws mustaches on all your high school pictures, gets into your freezer and eats all of your ice cream, etc.? I've only heard of that email (I'm also afraid to even turn my computer on.) Anyway, I get that virus all of the time - especially the ice cream part.

    I've decided its not so bad getting old. For example, I get to use phrases like, "In my day," and "Kids these days," and "Nowadays," and "Back when I was a kid." (My personal favorite one is, "When I was a kid, there was no such thing as the internet. If you wanted to know [some random fact], you had to get up from the Atari and go ask your mom.")

    Another great thing about getting old is being comfortable with my habits. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to jump in the Pinto, drive to Piggly Wiggly to pick up some Jiffy Pop, then return home and pop The Godfather in the VCR (BETA, of course)...

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