Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Can you believe that there is something even better than a proton pack filled with Baconnaise iced cakes?!!

Hey hey hey, The AGM is back!! The HTF is still busy furiously practicing his hip hop dance moves for his upcoming tryout as a backup dancer for the Justin Timberlake tou– wait . . . yeah, I really meant that the HTF will soon return from his camping trip in Oregon . . . yeah, that’s it –he’s NOT practicing his dance moves for a Justin Timberlake tour, he is in Oregon. Oh excuse me for just one minute please. [Mental note: Ratz! I am having the hardest time keeping this straight. Must remember to tell everyone the correct cover story: Oregonoregonoregonoregoncampingsmorescampingbaconcampingtunaboattunatuna, NOT dancing, NOT Justin Timberlake. Okay, let me practice that one more time before I try that again: Oregonoregonoregon . . . ]

Okay, I’m back! Sorry about that. Well, the bad news is that you are still stuck with me. The good news is that I discovered yet another awesome feature of being a guest blogger on the HTF blog. I know you’re thinking, “Wait a minute, yesterday you told me that HTF may or may not have a proton pack. What in the world could be cooler than that?”

Well, I’m telling you, it’s Even Cooler than HTF’s imaginary proton pack, if you can believe that. Any guesses? None? Okay, well, wait for it . . . I can ask AND answer my own Dear HTF questions. Yay!!! Isn’t that The Coolest??! Yeah, you’re right – I am easily impressed, BUT I have always wanted to answer my own questions. To myself. By myself. Hold on, I’m starting to get totally confused. Well, just take my word for it - it’s actually a lot cooler than it sounds.

I have been practicing asking and answering my own HTF questions for three days now, and in that time, HTF has allowed me to have ice cream for dinner, get a grill for my front teeth, paint a mural of bacon on the front of my house, start planning my climb of Mt. Everest, throw away my retainer, become an official member of the 2010 US Olympic Curling Team, get a tattoo of a piece of bacon surrounded by dollar bill signs on my arm, quit my job and join the crew of a whale watching boat in Hawaii, upgrade to digital cable, turn my living room into a small disco, form an exploratory committee for my possible Presidential bid, AND buy a small plane. It’s pretty awesome. Check out this example:

Dear HTF,

As you know, I have random people always coming up to me saying the most random things. I thought that one way to deter this from happening so often would be to start looking a little tougher. So I have been working on my Billy Idol sneer/fist pump combo for weeks now, and it is really coming along well. Do you think it would be appropriate for me to try it out at work, the gym, and/or the grocery store before I use it on the general public?



Dear AGM,

Yes, I think it is entirely appropriate for you to bust out your totally rad Billy Idol sneer/fist pump combo at work, the gym, AND the grocery store—I know that your Billy Idol imitation is just so strong that you could really try it out anywhere you choose. Plus, I have seen a picture of you waving a bat - you have the potential of being really tough and intimidating, especially when you are wearing shoes that remind me of the game of Simon. I say go for it!!



P.S. Thanks again for teaching me those awesome Justin Timberlake dance moves you saw in concert--I am totally prepared and confident for my try out to be one of his back up dancers this week!!!

Oh no, I need to be excused again for just one second. [Mental note: I can’t believe I just did that again. Remember: Oregon! Tuna! Fishing! Boat! Bacon! Campfires! Smores! Okay, I think I've got right it now.]

Well Nation, that’s the end of my stint here as a guest blogger this week. It has been a blast!! I think I totally accomplished my mission – to make the HTF Nation hungry for the return of its fearless leader –I’m sure you all are starving by now!! The Famous HTF will soon return. I’m bagging it up & will see you all in the frog burpz comments section!!

Big thanks to the HTF for allowing me to commandeer your blog and drive your average number of daily hits to the bottom of the sea along with all that tuna you may or may not have caught guest blog!! Hope that all the frogs are having a wonderful vacation– I’m sure I can speak for everyone & say that we all miss your posts!!

Going going gone!

Me out!


rlsecor said...

Dear AGM -

It has been a blast with you this week!

Not that anyone can fill HTF's shoes, not because they are THAT big, but because well really who could... BUT ... you did a great job and brought a different level of SASSINESS to the blog.

I wish I had read you 1st post, 1st. Somehow I missed it and read the second post where you revealed yourself, first. I am utterly convinced that I would have known right away that it was not HTF - or at least I would have thought he was hitting the helium a little harder than usuall.

Thanks for a week of lovely :) and hillarious mental images!

Rock on AGM!

agm said...

Thank you so much - you are too kind!!

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