Monday, July 06, 2009

Stop All Exercising, Immediately!

Today I learned that a family member, who may or may not be my wife’s twin sister named Krista, had to go to the ER with breathing problems.  Sounds serious enough, right?  I just texted her to make sure that she was still breathing a little bit.  And she tells me that the doctor told her she has “Exercise Induced Asthma.”  She has to take it easy. 

How’s that for lucky?!  For the rest of us we’re told to exercise more – she gets to just watch us I guess.  I for one plan to thumb my nose at her while I’m struggling to breath myself at the gym.  Come on, don’t we ALL have trouble breathing while exercising?!  Isn’t that the point of exercising.  I think I’d like to go to a doctor and get a diagnosis like that:

Me: “Doctor, my stomach really hurts.”

Him: “You should definitely eat more bacon.”

Me: “Doctor, I have a headache that’s been going on for days.”

Him: “You should spend a lot more time on vacation, preferably on a beach . . . eating bacon.”

Me: “Doctor, I fell down the stairs and I’m pretty sure my arm is broken, since I can visually see my ulna and/or radius.”

Him: “You should definitely quit your job and move to an island paradise.  I’ll send you money to live on, along with a lot of bacon.”

(Note – I really don’t eat much bacon, but the joke kinda worked)

So the next time you’re at the gym or jogging up that hill by your house think of my sister in law and her challenging condition.  And if you want to avoid her emergency condition you should stop exercising immediately!

PS – Krista, seriously, I hope you’re doing ok.


agm said...

Okay, proof positive that the word "bacon" makes EVERYTHING funnier. Like say you find out a cousin is a picky eater & you ask him, "What kind of food do you like?" And he replies, "Only stuff that tastes like bacon." = instant hilarity. Just try it - insert the words "ice cream," "waffle fries," or "strawberries" into your post or my hypo, & it doesn't work. "Bacon," on the other hand, ALWAYS works. I think you should throw it in the blog at least once per month for fun.

Hope Krista is doing okay.

patty said...

Have you tried this great product from the great Pacific Northwest?

You now can have the taste of bacon on EVERYTHING!

Emmy said...

I would happily be diagnosed with just about anything if the cure was eating bacon. mmmmm
Have you seen the Simpsons were Lisa becomes a vegetarian and she tries to tell Homer that bacon, ham and other meats all come from a pig :) So funny!

Krista said...

Funny Scott. Seriously, love your posts even if it's at my expense. Here's a question-what exactly does it mean to thumb your nose at someone? Do you think you could take a picture and send it to me? I'd love to see.

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