I'm fighting the urge to blog about all the important current events going on in the world today, such as:
- Apparently my pre-kindergarten daughters can compete on the Chinese gymnastic team
- Barak "I'm only slightly less famous than Michael Phelps" Obama announced that he was going to declare his VP choice via text message. So maybe a year from now we can declare war on Iran by leaving a post on Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's Facebook page.
- It was announced today that Anheuser-Busch CEO, August Busch IV (a good name for a rock band) will be paid $10 million after the company is acquired by InBev. In a shocking announcement he revealed that the acquisition was a "good idea."
- Women's beach volleyball is being shown in primetime and somehow is attracting (pun intended) an attentive male audience.
- It is rumored that both the Republican and the Democratic nominees will be announcing their VP choices very soon, and they will both be choosing Michael Phelps. A McCain spokesperson was quoted as saying, "Mike is on a roll, and we'd like to 'swim in that relay' if you know what I mean."
I'll go ahead and stop fighting that urge now. Any questions?