Wednesday, August 27, 2008
To Fedora or Not Fedora
I'm sure your mailbox is full of very important questions and comments, but I have a major style dilemma. As you know, I am a fan of the fedora & noticed that fedoras were on sale at Macy's yesterday. I started getting more and more concerned the longer I thought about the fedora clearance rack (how about THAT for a band name??). Were the fedoras on sale because they are not in style, but are actually going out of style? I always thought that Macy's wanted to bring styleto the masses, but now I am wondering if Macy's is trying to make room for a new funky style instead. If so, what would that be? Should I assume the new style is Olympics based & spend my Benjamins on a grill to wear in the swimming pool or on feet of gold (a la Lightning Bolt's flashy kicks)? Should I instead look to see what the ever stylish Justin Timberlake is wearing these days?
Future Member of the Fedora Clearance Rack
FMFCR, thanks for the profound questions. You're clearly very prescient (by which I mean you must be a few falsettos short of a boy band) in asking me questions about style. I am in fact the king of style, having turned down opportunities to design with Christian Dior, Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger, Elmer Fudd, and Larry the Cable Guy. So you came across fedoras on the clearance rack. The fedora is actually native to the clearance rack and thrives in that habitat, feeding on the other clothes that wouldn't sell at a 93.6% discount. My advice, leave it there. Don't assume that because this piece of head wear graces the melons of a few celebrities that it's "cool" for you. . . you're not a celebrity just yet. When you do become one you too will be able to look ridiculous and say stupid things that suddenly become hip. You will also suddenly have deep political insights that you feel the need to share with millions of people who may or may not think you're clueless.
Thanks for your important question, my fedora friend. May you find a gem or two in the treasure trove that is the Macy's clearance rack!