I've had reason to do a little self-reflection lately. Nothing dramatic or anything. But I've learned a couple of things about myself, both of which really surprised me. Sounds kinda odd to be surprised about yourself, I know. But nonetheless, here I am, . . . with myself . . . surprised. The first thing that I learned, to my disappointment, is that too much of my self-worth is tied to how much money I make (or don't make). I won't bore you with the story, but this became loud and clear recently. When I first realized it I fought through the denial phase pretty quickly, and now I'm just trying to deal . . . and change. Money's just a means to an end. Traci has never put any pressure on me to feel this way, it's all from me, and that's what's made it so disappointing. I can work on this one though.
The other thing I realized was how much I like to make people laugh or at least entertain. Now for those of you that know me, you know that I'm really bad at both of these things. I try, but usually fail. I'm pretty sure I can count on one hand the number of times I've made the Mrs. HTF really belly laugh. Still, I've had some chances recently to do this lately, or at least try, and it's seriously something that gets me going. Again, I totally get that I'm not a funny guy, but for some reason I still really feel like trying. So I'll keep trying, and those of you around me will just have to do the polite chuckle or at least tolerate for a few minutes.
Anyway, nothing too interesting in this post . . . unless you're, you know, me.
Who knew I needed to get to know myself better?! And I thought "we" were pretty tight all this time.