5:15 PM PST: And so it begins, or should I say, ends. Most of the votes have been cast, and polls are closing all up and down the Eastern part of the country. Welcome to the live HTF analysis/commentary of Election night. You'll read
snide remarks valuable insights that will hopefully make the event just that much better. This is the Super Bowl of politics capping a presidential race that began way before I was born. We'll see if this can go interactive tonight. Here's what I ask - add your comments early and often. Send in e-mails to firstname.lastname@example.org. Don't just read along, play along. (hit "Refresh" to see the new posts) A couple of you have told me that this blog is the source of most of your political news which is frightening interesting. I am at my desk on the West Coast and will drive home now. As it stands Barry has a 103 to 34 lead, and the networks that I can access on the internet are showing a good deal of coverage of people gathering for the huge "We Love Our New President Obama" party in Illinois. Probably a sign of how the night's gonna go. I'll be back with an update when I get "home" (by which I mean my lonely apartment). It's entirely possible the election will be over by then, meaning that the millions of folks in the West could've probably just avoided standing in those lines we saw on the news. (on that note, here's Brian Williams blowing you a kiss)
5:53 PM PST: I just landed on the couch. Catching an interview with BO Campaign Chair David Axelrod. I LOVE that last name. I'm told his best friends are named John Crankshaft and Eddie Gearshift. Welcome to AGM - she correctly pointed out the creepiness of Ann Curry's hologram thing where she looks like she's in a greek cartoon showing us incomprehensible charts and graphs about "exit polls." (these are actually metal poles placed at the exit of the church or library you vote at and built to not allow you to leave until you are thoroughly questioned.)
6:02 PM PST: I've done a quick scan of all of the "news" (cable and otherwise) channels and have learned what the real point of tonight is: to find out which station has the most flashy, impossible to use without extensive training, big, "touchable", computer thingy. I just saw Soledad O'Brien yell at a 97 year old guy trying to get the touch screen to work. As he repeatedly poked it with his finger she not-so-patiently pointed out, "you need to touch it higher!"
6:14 PM PST: James "Golum" Carville is so excited about the fact that dems are winning EVERTHING that he just sprouted hair live on CNN!
6:23 PM PST: I'm loving how the talking heads keep getting interrupted by a funny bell sound telling them there's a "Voter Alert." It's like they suddenly forget how to speak when that happens, and that's saying something. Current score: Barry 174 JohnyMac 69
And in a sign of how anticlimactic the night seems to be going I just got a text from BGray saying he's trying to decide whether to watch the election or run 4 miles.
6:28 PM PST: Hello to Marie who fairly questions whether "Axelrod" was a real name. Trust me, I had to verify that one too when I first heard it. Wolffgang Blitzer just pointed at a huge screen covered with numbers and said, "THESE ARE REAL VOTES." Wow, I'm glad to know we're not posting FAKE votes, but we haven't gotten to Florida yet.
And AGM, I'm with you on the Magic Skates and JK. But he is that MASTER of the touch screen. Right now he's just mumbling and drawing happy-faces all over a map of Ohio with his index finger.
6:45 PM PST: Hi Amanda, welcome to the blog! JK is still playing with his touch screen. He just did a scenario where McCain wins almost everything that's left and it's not enough. Then he said to all west coast voters (a good name for a rock band), "God Bless you, but please still vote. Nice to feel pointless. But as the Mrs. HTF just told me on the phone referring to West Coast voters: "Your vote may not count, but at least you're awake enough to see everyone else's results"
6:48 PM PST: JJ is in the house! (see comments) I can't type that without thinking "DY-NO-MITE." She's wisely opted to not watch election coverage and instead watch "Get Smart." This happens to be exactly what JohnyMac and the Mrs. JohnyMac are doing right now.
6:55 PM PST: Most stations are calling Ohio for Barry. It's quite over, but we all knew that several hours ago. We see now that the networks are trying to drag this thing out as long as possible but not calling the whole thing. Right now the CNN panel of talking heads is having a heated debate on dental hygiene. Ew, David Gergen (heretofore known as G-Dogg) just started speaking - see women everywhere swoon.
CM just told me that the local station in KC has switched over to coverage of the Fort Osage Fire Dept Tax proposal. Nuf said...
7:03 PM PST: Here is an actual exchange from CNN talking about Obama's electoral votes:
Anderson "I'm too cool" Cooper to Wolff: "When he gets to 270, what do we do?"
Wolff's response: "We report that!"
It's hilarious to listen to these people try to drag out the non-drama.
7:22 PM PST: Well my friends (said in a John Mccain-like voice) that's it. I had hoped it might go on for a bit longer. I just snuck into the Obama fortress in Chicago and snapped this photo for you:
He looks kinda bummed out. If you look closely you can see the plans for drapes and carpet in the White House. Watching the talking heads you can tell that the only thing keeping most of them (the non-Fox News folks) from screaming out in glee is the fact that, as JJ just pointed out, they have to "fill hours of time with meaningless and humorless comments."
Thanks to those of you who logged in and played along. I acknowledge that most of you are probably quite asleep and/or watching something interesting by now. If you have any post-election thoughts/questions, send 'em in and I'd be happy to post a response that you're guaranteed to either like ... or not.