Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Election Night Live Blog

5:15 PM PST:  And so it begins, or should I say, ends.  Most of the votes have been cast, and polls are closing all up and down the Eastern part of the country.  Welcome to the live HTF analysis/commentary of Election night.  You'll read snide remarks valuable insights that will hopefully make the event just that much better.  This is the Super Bowl of politics capping a presidential race that began way before I was born.  We'll see if this can go interactive tonight.  Here's what I ask - add your comments early and often.  Send in e-mails to henrythefrog@gmail.com.  Don't just read along, play along.  (hit "Refresh" to see the new posts) A couple of you have told me that this blog is the source of most of your political news which is frightening interesting.  I am at my desk on the West Coast and will drive home now.  As it stands Barry has a 103 to 34 lead, and the networks that I can access on the internet are showing a good deal of coverage of people gathering for the huge "We Love Our New President Obama" party in Illinois.  Probably a sign of how the night's gonna go.  I'll be back with an update when I get "home" (by which I mean my lonely apartment).  It's entirely possible the election will be over by then, meaning that the millions of folks in the West could've probably just avoided standing in those lines we saw on the news.  (on that note, here's Brian Williams blowing you a kiss)


5:53 PM PST:  I just landed on the couch.  Catching an interview with BO Campaign Chair David Axelrod.  I LOVE that last name.  I'm told his best friends are named John Crankshaft and Eddie Gearshift.  Welcome to AGM - she correctly pointed out the creepiness of Ann Curry's hologram thing where she looks like she's in a greek cartoon showing us incomprehensible charts and graphs about "exit polls."  (these are actually metal poles placed at the exit of the church or library you vote at and built to not allow you to leave until you are thoroughly questioned.)

6:02 PM PST:  I've done a quick scan of all of the "news" (cable and otherwise) channels and have learned what the real point of tonight is: to find out which station has the most flashy, impossible to use without extensive training, big, "touchable", computer thingy.  I just saw Soledad O'Brien yell at a 97 year old guy trying to get the touch screen to work.  As he repeatedly poked it with his finger she not-so-patiently pointed out, "you need to touch it higher!"

6:14 PM PST:  James "Golum" Carville is so excited about the fact that dems are winning EVERTHING that he just sprouted hair live on CNN!

6:23 PM PST:  I'm loving how the talking heads keep getting interrupted by a funny bell sound telling them there's a "Voter Alert."  It's like they suddenly forget how to speak when that happens, and that's saying something.  Current score: Barry 174  JohnyMac 69

And in a sign of how anticlimactic the night seems to be going I just got a text from BGray saying he's trying to decide whether to watch the election or run 4 miles.

6:28 PM PST:  Hello to Marie who fairly questions whether "Axelrod" was a real name.  Trust me, I had to verify that one too when I first heard it.  Wolffgang Blitzer just pointed at a huge screen covered with numbers and said, "THESE ARE REAL VOTES."  Wow, I'm glad to know we're not posting FAKE votes, but we haven't gotten to Florida yet.

And AGM, I'm with you on the Magic Skates and JK.  But he is that MASTER of the touch screen.  Right now he's just mumbling and drawing happy-faces all over a map of Ohio with his index finger.

6:45 PM PST:  Hi Amanda, welcome to the blog!  JK is still playing with his touch screen.  He just did a scenario where McCain wins almost everything that's left and it's not enough.  Then he said to all west coast voters (a good name for a rock band), "God Bless you, but please still vote.  Nice to feel pointless.  But as the Mrs. HTF just told me on the phone referring to West Coast voters: "Your vote may not count, but at least you're awake enough to see everyone else's results"

6:48 PM PST:  JJ is in the house!  (see comments)  I can't type that without thinking "DY-NO-MITE."  She's wisely opted to not watch election coverage and instead watch "Get Smart."  This happens to be exactly what JohnyMac and the Mrs. JohnyMac are doing right now. 

6:55 PM PST:  Most stations are calling Ohio for Barry.  It's quite over, but we all knew that several hours ago.  We see now that the networks are trying to drag this thing out as long as possible but not calling the whole thing.  Right now the CNN panel of talking heads is having a heated debate on dental hygiene.  Ew, David Gergen (heretofore known as G-Dogg) just started speaking - see women everywhere swoon.

CM just told me that the local station in KC has switched over to coverage of the Fort Osage Fire Dept Tax proposal.  Nuf said...

7:03 PM PST:  Here is an actual exchange from CNN talking about Obama's electoral votes:

Anderson "I'm too cool" Cooper to Wolff: "When he gets to 270, what do we do?"

Wolff's response: "We report that!"

It's hilarious to listen to these people try to drag out the non-drama.

7:22 PM PST:  Well my friends (said in a John Mccain-like voice) that's it.  I had hoped it might go on for a bit longer.  I just snuck into the Obama fortress in Chicago and snapped this photo for you:

He looks kinda bummed out.  If you look closely you can see the plans for drapes and carpet in the White House.  Watching the talking heads you can tell that the only thing keeping most of them (the non-Fox News folks) from screaming out in glee is the fact that, as JJ just pointed out, they have to "fill hours of time with meaningless and humorless comments."

Thanks to those of you who logged in and played along.  I acknowledge that most of you are probably quite asleep and/or watching something interesting by now.  If you have any post-election thoughts/questions, send 'em in and I'd be happy to post a response that you're guaranteed to either like ... or not.


agm said...

While I heart BriWi, I'm trying to decide what I hate more: Ann Curry's hologram or John King's magic map he can't seem to ever work right.

Marie said...

I thought you were joking about Axlerod being his name, but we just saw him on TV... shows how much I know!

agm said...

golum. that's funny.

okay, now i have decided what i'm loving the most: the magic ice skating rink map at rockefeller center. john king only wishes he had a magic skate rink.

Amanda said...

Thanks for keeping us all updated - I'll be following this evening and will have to catch-up with all of the late entries in the morning!

JJ said...

Okay. First of all, I'm truly not watching the coverage. However I can't keep myself from refreshing online coverage from time-to-time. It's like watching a train wreck...I just can't.look.away.

My hubby just got home, the kids will be in bed in 15 minutes and the laughter will be ringing through our home (subdued so as to not wake the children). Bring on Steve Carrell!

Second, I just had to tell you how funny that Golum/Corville remark was! Classic!

aubri g.m. said...

i agree with mrs. htf. i'm struggling to stay awake. still 15 minutes to jon stewart & stephen colbert.

so briwi just had to point out to the viewers "in the interest of transparency" that ann was not actually in a videogame with roman columns.hahha

CM said...

West Coast: welcome to what it feels like to be Kansas.

At least YOUR primaries count...

JJ said...

Movie is starting and yet I'm still watching your coverage. Yours is now the only one that I'm even paying attention to. I'd rather have humor downplaying reality right now. So, thank you!

And on behalf of those of us that think the mainstream media is just slightly biased...I hope the talking heads have to fill hours of time with meaningless and humorless comments.

Aaron said...

You know what makes me laugh. Watch the analysts on CNN talking, then look behind them and you'll see the other analysts who are off and on and it looks like they are begging to get air time. It's crackin me up.

Aaron said...

and how can I get a Magic Wall dangit!!!

rlsecor said...

Thought that turning off our cable this week was bad timing but it sounds like we have not missed much.

Silly questions if anyone is still going on this thing...

1. Why are we always waiting on Florida?
2. I only sorta get the whole electoral vote thing... is it possible to win by actual number of votes while losing by the number electoral votes, or does winning one give you the other?

HTF said...

Here's a note I got from AaronL last night:

I absolutely laughed out loud at the Ann Curry hologram too. I was looking for R2D2. Is R2D2 a democrat? Sure he is. He’s blue collar worker that has many other droids constantly vying for his position in the X Wing fighter and he has a “questionable” life mate in C3PO. I digress…

This democratic “tentative” landslide victory is indicative of the soiled reputation/image that Republicans now must deal with largely thanks to Bush. I have to wonder if he is sitting at home thinking to himself… “Is this my fault? Did I just bring down my entire party?” The interesting thing is, I think it is but it’s not completely justified. Just to play devil’s advocate here… I don’t think the everyday person does the adequate research to find the actual causes of certain negative or positive events in our country and government. They see what is in front of them and make their judgment. I am definitely guilty. For instance, many of the credit deregulations happened during the Clinton era believe it or not, however Bush is taking all the heat. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like Bush and never have but it is somewhat interesting. Also Democrats have controlled Congress for over two years now and this economic collapse happened on their watch also. Have they done anything for you lately? With all that said, I voted Obama because I didn’t think McCain was genuine at all and would say anything or court any constituency to win. Also, the guy is older than Velcro and Palin makes Bush look like Albert Einstein. President Palin makes me shudder.

HTF said...

I wanted to address the 2 questions from rlsecor:
1. Why are we always waiting on Florida?
2. I only sorta get the whole electoral vote thing... is it possible to win by actual number of votes while losing by the number electoral votes, or does winning one give you the other?

1. Old people have trouble making decisions and the other people in the state are wearing Mickey-Mouse ears.
2. Yeah, so the # of real votes you get don't matter . . . ever. It's all in the electoral votes. Check the total votes from the 2004 and 2000 elections . . . interesting

rlsecor said...

yes, especially 2000 - very interesting. Thanks!

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