Last week I had to drop by the store to pick up a few things. I chose a Target since it's a place I'm kinda familiar with. This is important since I still have a big fear of shopping. I grabbed everything on my abbreviated bachelor list. But there was one item that I should've easily found, but couldn't seem to track down. This was something I hadn't bought for myself in well over a decade, so it wasn't a shocker that I couldn't locate it. And that item was . . .
Now if you know me at all, you'll know that my head is a lot more like a cue-ball than a chia-pet. Still, there is a bit of hair on there and I burned through the tiny bottle that came with the apartment I'm living in. It took two whole months to do it though. I kinda have the George Costanza thing going on just a little. My kids draw pictures of me and the top is always totally bald, but there are these little patches on the sides. Male-pattern baldness is a beautiful thing!
Back to my search - I looked everywhere and spent a large bit of time walking up and down the "body-wash-aisle." Who knew there were 8,321 types of body wash?! I thought the shampoo was gonna be nearby, but wow was I wrong. After the long search I finally fought off my guy instincts and asked a "red shirt with khaki-pants-wearing" Target girl where the shampoo was. I TOTALLY caught her glancing at my head and asking herself internally why in the world I'd need shampoo. Nice. I let her off the hook and told her it was for my wife. She showed me to the aisle and I scored a small 87 cent bottle of Suave. How did I celebrate my find you might ask?
That night I shaved everything off my entire melon with a razor for the first time in my life. (I"m not entirely sure why I did this)
So if anyone needs shampoo, you can borrow mine - this bottle's gonna last me a while.