Walruses, Lawyers, Yoda, The Guy With All The Medals, and Sunday Morning Talk Shows

Monday, November 10, 2008 | | |

Not being creative enough to come up with anything myself to blog about tonight.  I opened the not-so-full mailbag and came across a question that I think is quite timely.  Just a reminder - send in your questions/comments to henrythefrog@gmail.com so that you too can see your "name" in lights and learn absolutely nothing perhaps a bit of information that may or may not be entirely accurate.  Those questions needn't (a funny word) be long or particularly insightful themselves.  Some simple examples might be:

Amongst walruses, what is the biggest holiday?  OR

Was The White House named "The White House" before or after it was painted?  (chicken or the egg stuff) OR

So what would the downside be if mosquitos and/or lawyers suddenly became extinct?  (fun fact - multiple real lawyers read HTF, so I'm gonna get it for that one)

See, it's easy.  Also alert reader, CM, mentioned to me the other day, "I think comments are like crack to bloggers."  That was a bit humiliating, but I suppose it's a fair analogy.  Kinda pitiful I guess...  anyway, enough about that.  On to our question from an alert reader (who may or may not be an actual lawyer):

Dear HTF,

There has been a lot of speculation on who will be the next permanent host of Meet the Press.  Brokaw?  BriWi?  Andrea Mitchell?  Gregory?  Chris Matthews?  Chuck Todd?  Who do you think has the best shot?  OR do you think this is all a ruse & that NBC is going to pull a Palinian surprise (new band name??) &  actually name HTF as the new host?  If so, can I be your first guest?  I would like to have a VERY ANGRY DEBATE with Michael Half Fish/Half Man Phelps on . . . [hold on, I'm trying to figure that out] . . . on . . .

Oh, who am I kidding, I should just go ahead and ask him to be my running mate, right?  (After I get him to autograph my swim goggles first, of course.) 

Signed,
The Future President of Awesomeness

First, I'll note that you're still dwelling on Phelps envy.  So as Yoda would say, "control your emotions you should."  I'm not entirely sure how you're so in the loop on something NBC and I have been trying to keep under wraps for a while now.  Yes, HTF will replace T-Russ permanently in the near future.  Tommy Boy has been ok, and Chris Matthews was definitely in the running.  The only downside is that I have more of a face for radio, so NBC is putting together lots of video montages to compensate.  In fact - I've been telling TommyBro what to ask the last several weeks.  For some reason he keeps changing my questions on TV though.

Example:

Tom Brokaw: "Senator Obama, what is the most important thing the President can do to turn around an economy where thousands are losing their jobs and homes every week?

HTF (what I told him to ask):  "Senator Obama, If you were a present how would you be wrapped?"

That was an actual job interview question I got once, so I thought if it was good enough for a financial analyst job, it would be good enough for a wanna-be President.  I see by polling that you're definitely the front runner in the President of Awesomeness race.  But beware the "Palinian Surprise" (no, this is not a dessert . . . that I know of) from your competitors.  But don't "beware" too much, because by definition that type of surprise backfires in the end.  Anyway, I look forward to seeing you and wanna-be-VP Phelps with all his medals on MTP with HTF in the future.  Thanks for the question.

4 comments:

  1. Future Pres. of AWESOMENESS says:

    My internal polling says that I am going to win in a landslide. Unfortunately, I am not at liberty to release those numbers.

    I would like to take this opportunity to challenge Phelps to a Rosetta Stone match on your first episode of MTP. Some spokesman- doesn't he only speaks English in the commercial?! (I'm practicing my trash talking!! )

  2. Krista says:

    And here I thought "Palinian Surprise" was a good name for a rock band. . .

  3. rlsecor says:

    I can't even begin to touch that question so I will plead ignorance or just ignore it altogether and address my own topic.

    What if you ran a poll of the best rock band names. That might take some work searching through past blogs for all the ideas but, they are funny, and might be even funnier when read all together.

    Then months later when you've accumulated a myriad of postings filled with more great or kooky ideas for Rock Band names you can run another poll or whatever.

    I would like to thank you HTF for the good writing prompts. I go to these websites that give you daily writing prompts and 1/2 the time I'm like huh? You want me to write about what?

    And yes, I do think comments to bloggers are very much like crack, or chocolate, or any other mind and mood altering substance of your choice. I got comments on like 6 of my latest blogs and I wanted to do a dance.

    Woo Hoo, happy blogging.

  4. urlosing2agirl says:

    Dear HTF,

    As one of the aforementioned lawyers that regularly reads your blogs, I'd like to respond to your query about what would happen if lawyers suddenly became extinct.

    First, that's just not going to happen because the future pres. of awesomeness and I are way too cool.

    Second, your upcoming loss in fantasy football would be much more embarassing than it's already going to be since your opponent would be extinct, yet you would still lost.

    Finally, should you encounter discrimination in the workplace, you'd forego my free pro bono services and have to pay some joe schmo for representation...

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