Saturday, November 08, 2008

Attn Patron(s): Please Shower Before Entering the Gym

There are people out there who exercise at private clubs, some of them do it to maintain peak fitness, some do it just to oogle (is that a word?) at a few of the others exerciserists (definitely not a word), and most do it way less often and with way less vigor than they should (HTF).  See I know this because I do, in fact, go to the gym on occasion.  Yesterday I was making sure the elliptical unit I was on was doing actual ellipsis when a guy got on the machine next to me.  You know that in these rooms they always have the equipment close together.  I gave him the obligatory head nod acknowledging that he had entered the area and that I welcomed him in as non-committal a way as possible. 

It should be noted, that almost by definition, rooms full of people sweating from exertion probably shouldn't be expected to smell like when you walk through the perfume area of the department store in the mall.  But I'm telling you, after 2 minutes with this guy next to me I was grimacing and gasping for air that I didn't want to breath in because his scent had made the area uninhabitable by oxygen consuming organisms. 

Dude stunk.

So after 6 entire minutes on the machine I made my way to a vacant treadmill, one on the other side of the room.  I'm good with people stinking after they exercise, but they shouldn't stink before the heart rate cranks up.

Trust me, I made strong mental and olfactory notes (involuntarily) of what the fella looked/smelled like, and he won't be greeted as kindly the next time he mounts the machine next to me.


rlsecor said...

I feel your pain.

Had you been oogling exorcists I could've helped you - or at least watched with you.

Apparently St. Louis is to the Catholics what Salt Lake City is to, well us. As demonstrated the first week we lived here when someone asked what Parish we went to, as if...

Anyway, a Catholic Supply store has opened in our neighborhood - and my husband (who grew up Catholic) and I have been musing over what supplies one might need to be Catholic (because he doesn't seem to know).

We decided that they must have a large section housing chains of garlic, silver Crucifixes, holy water, and anything else you might need for an exorcism.

They also surely provide a variety of Statues for burying and other sorts of things.

All joking aside, I don't think a chain of Garlic would have helped anything at the gym.

agm said...

I was totally thinking of this blog post today when i was taking my hip hop class (!) at the gym. This lady was having some, uh, let's just say GI issues to the point where I thought I might have to leave class early. So please add that, after their shower, gym patrons also need to take some simethicone before entering the gym & hopping around. Merci.

agm said...

Oh! I just noticed that reads weird. I want to make it known that I was not "this lady." It was some lady in class & she was so bad I was afraid that I would have to leave class before I passed out. I'm a trooper & stayed the entire time though. She actually told the instructor that she wasn't dressed for class & was going to get too hot in her street clothes, so I was hoping that she would end up leaving anyway. no such luck.

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