Friday, November 07, 2008

Jockeying for that Dream Job with the Insanely Long Title

In case you can't tell by reading the blog, pretty much all I've been catching on the TV/internet is politics, The West Wing, and the occasional football game.  I'm told there are actual shows with plots and acting and everything out there.  I'm just pretty sure there's nothing as entertaining as "real" people jockeying for power.  The buzz today is that pretty much everyone who's ever called themselves a democrat or seen a donkey is trying to be appointed a cabinet secretary, get a spot working in the White House or at least hired as "the senior counsel to the junior deputy advisor to the special aide for the assistant secretary of agricultural regulatory affairs in the department of transportation in charge of scented candle trade negotiations with SouthEast Asia."  (that guy has a larger-than-usual business card)  These are just some of the great jobs that are suddenly being vacated by vilified Republicans, who will soon all relocate to a fort, a well armed one, in an undisclosed red state.  Only the two remaining GOP senators and the pizza delivery guy know where it is.

The yapping melons (good name for a rock band) on TV are wildly speculating about who gets which job.  (somehow I started typing "talking heads" and "yapping melons" came out . . . I may need to go to sleep soon)  I was trying to think about what would happen to big corporations if suddenly everyone in charge of anything was gone and a new leader showed up and had to staff the whole thing.  (I'd be shorting that stock)  Kinda nuts, if you think about it that way.  So our new president-elect is gonna be a busy guy and will need a lot of org charts.  Actually, you may be surprised by this, but he's asked me to vet candidates for positions in the executive branch.  So please send me a note (post a comment) telling me which government position you'd like to have and why.  And even if it's not a real position, that's not a problem.  We (your friendly federal government) just came up with $700 billion by signing a piece of paper, so we can manage to find the room in our little budget to help you land your government dream-gig.  It doesn't even need to require actual work.  For example, your job could be to ride on Air Force One with the President when he vacations in Hawaii.

As for me, I plan to open up a business card printing business in DC.


JJ said...

You'd have to be clinically insane to WANT to work in Washington with the type of people that I've seen on television lately. No thank you!

Still trying to think of a creative job title that I'd want...

John said...

I would like to be the head speach writer in charge of all things ambiguous and non-commital. Talk about being busy and in demand!

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